Suggestions, please?

[Suz]

As some of you know, I've been house-bound lately and have taken up some new hobbies to fill my days. The MOST fun I've had recently is actually ANSWERING my junk email...my spam. Great fun. I had no hopes of reducing the amount of junk emailsl I receive, but I swear before God, the number of junk emails are dropping off as I pursue this bizarre hobby. Responding to each spammer in a clever way gives me quite a smile

Here's one that that was SO STUPID that I just had to share it with you. I have not responded to it yet because I believe it requires multiple minds to compose a truly hilarious response. I've heard of English to French, German, Spanish dictionaries, lah lah lah, and so forth. I wonder where this person learned to speak ANY language.

Your comments, please:


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[Mr.X]

hahah that's the best email ever

[Onerepmaximum]

You should forward that e-mail to Crak600. I bet he could use something like that.

[Janus]

PM me the enlargement website...
j/k

[Spook]

Originally Posted by Tarzana

Your comments, please:


The Only Clinically Tested Penis En_Largement Products!

- Guuaarantee 1+ inches in 2 months (or moneeyy back)
- Experience Longer Lasting and More Enjoying Seexx
- Easy to Wear With No Additional Exercises Require
- The More You Wear, the Longer It Will Be
- Millions of People are Enjoying the Benefit of It

Check Uss Out Tooday!

Reply:

Leaf mi allong. Me nombur wan peepee ingorjmint perveyr in wolrd. U compeet aginst mi no moor. I sail u nippel inlargers. Howz dat?

Cinsereley,

nombur wan peepee maker bigggger purson.

[Onerepmaximum]

I like it, Spook.

[Spook]

Here is an example of the occasional email that I get from time to time....who am I kidding, I get this crap all the time.......


THIS IS OUR ABSOLUTE EFFORT
We have endevored to be in touch with you on several instances and now is the time
to respond!

Your exisiting home loan qualifies you for up to a 3.50% lower rate.

However, due to our previous attempts to be in touch with you did not succeed,
this will be our final effort to close for you in the lower rate.

Please finish your final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete
your submission now.


Finish Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to
do so.

[Spook]

Originally Posted by Spook

THIS IS OUR ABSOLUTE EFFORT
We have endevored to be in touch with you on several instances and now is the time
to respond!

Your exisiting home loan qualifies you for up to a 3.50% lower rate.

However, due to our previous attempts to be in touch with you did not succeed,
this will be our final effort to close for you in the lower rate.

Please finish your final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete
your submission now.


Finish Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to
do so.

With Tarzana's inspiration I'm thinking of responding like this:


I'm Rick James *****!

[Spook]

Or............

Originally Posted by Spook

THIS IS OUR ABSOLUTE EFFORT
We have endevored to be in touch with you on several instances and now is the time
to respond!

Endevored? Whoa! Let me get the dictionary because its so fun to see someone who can't spell for shit use a word like ENDEAVOR. Is it really time to respond because you have serious competition with home loan and closing agencies all across the internet and some of these agencies really do use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Originally Posted by Spook

Your exisiting home loan qualifies you for up to a 3.50% lower rate.

However, due to our previous attempts to be in touch with you did not succeed,
this will be our final effort to close for you in the lower rate.

3.50% lower than what rate? Yeah, I got something for you to touch right here.

Originally Posted by Spook

Please finish your final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete
your submission now.

I'll submit to no one. You are my *****, now kneel and prepare to be ***** slapped.

Originally Posted by Spook

Finish Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to
do so.

Going where? You didn't include a link you freaking yutz! Crap! You really enticed me to sign up for your services and you didn't include a way for me to do so! WTF is wrong with you anyway?

[g3cko]

loanz for reely cheep!!!