Rats Whats Going On Thread

[FlirtfromHell]

Originally Posted by madruga

i'm leaning towards the affirmative side of the argument.

it doesn't really matter either way. it happened, and i'm praying that my stupid actions don't get to the ears of people that i love and hurt them.

Although it would hurt her (your ex) and you, if she found out, it may help too. I know it sounds funny but being apart and being with other people or hearing of you being with other people may help you both to realize how much you do really or don't really feel for each other.

A little off topic, but when my ex and I broke up I thought it would kill me, it didn't, and I heard later one of his ex's went to visit him (I know, he's in prison and you think they can't do anything, but I know for a fact things can be done) so it was actually quite surprising to me that it didn't bother me near as much as I thought it would, and he felt the same way when I told him in March that I'd been seeing/sleeping with someone. In our case it helped us realize the feelings that we had that we thought we so strong and unbreakable were really that and a strong sense of fear, the fear of being single again, etc. We were together 4 years too. Maybe it will work out that way for you and your ex, or if it's truly meant to be it may effect your feelings differently and you'll both realize you really don't want to be with anyone else.

Either way I hope everything works out for the best hun, and no one gets hurt in the process.

[paramuscle]

You gotta understand that there is more to cheating than just the physical nature of the relationship. Most women don't give a damn if you fuck some other girl, it's the emotions that mess them up. If she knows that you are eyeballing this other chick and have feelings for her, you might as well nail her brah.

The flip side is this (and here's where most women "MOST WOMEN" get so stupid on you) if you fucked her, you had to have felt something for her and that means that you hurt the other one with those feelings and if you say, it meant nothing............holy shit, how can you screw somebody you don't care anything about??? it's a messed up double edged sword and there is no good answer.

You need to sit the first one down and say listen, either we are or we are not but no more middle ground shit. You can't beat yourself up all the time about doing what any other guy would do in the same situation bro...................you gotta go with one way, or the other but when you combine the two things, bad mojo my friend............


You need me to come down and smack her around for ya, you let me know........

~PM

[FlirtfromHell]

Thank you for clarifying "MOST WOMEN", I appreciate that. I have absolutely no problem fucking some guy I don't have feelings for... keeping the emotions seperate makes it soooo much easier. Now, before anyone goes calling me a whore, I didn't say I go fuck every guy.. but I see no problems having a friend with benefits or even a fuck buddy... as long as you're making sure your protected and you both know the deal it doesn't get ugly and you both get what you want!!

[madruga]

Originally Posted by FlirtfromHell

Although it would hurt her (your ex) and you, if she found out, it may help too. I know it sounds funny but being apart and being with other people or hearing of you being with other people may help you both to realize how much you do really or don't really feel for each other.

A little off topic, but when my ex and I broke up I thought it would kill me, it didn't, and I heard later one of his ex's went to visit him (I know, he's in prison and you think they can't do anything, but I know for a fact things can be done) so it was actually quite surprising to me that it didn't bother me near as much as I thought it would, and he felt the same way when I told him in March that I'd been seeing/sleeping with someone. In our case it helped us realize the feelings that we had that we thought we so strong and unbreakable were really that and a strong sense of fear, the fear of being single again, etc. We were together 4 years too. Maybe it will work out that way for you and your ex, or if it's truly meant to be it may effect your feelings differently and you'll both realize you really don't want to be with anyone else.

Either way I hope everything works out for the best hun, and no one gets hurt in the process.

i don't even know where to begin here. i just wish her and i were on the same page. we're just not. she's heading to a graduation party and just called me up crying her eyes out. she's seriously torn up. and here i am, fucking around with another girl. i don't know heidi...thanks for sharing your experience. i'm just torn. regret mixed with confusion and my head can't take too much more of it.

either way, i can't tell the ex. just can't do it. she would never take me back, and i love her to death. god i don't want to take this to the grave with me...i'm just thinking what if we do get back together and we do eventually get married...i would have that crap weighing on my mind. but like i said, in order for all of that to happen, marriage and all, i would have to not tell her.

[madruga]

Originally Posted by paramuscle

You gotta understand that there is more to cheating than just the physical nature of the relationship. Most women don't give a damn if you fuck some other girl, it's the emotions that mess them up. If she knows that you are eyeballing this other chick and have feelings for her, you might as well nail her brah.

The flip side is this (and here's where most women "MOST WOMEN" get so stupid on you) if you fucked her, you had to have felt something for her and that means that you hurt the other one with those feelings and if you say, it meant nothing............holy shit, how can you screw somebody you don't care anything about??? it's a messed up double edged sword and there is no good answer.

You need to sit the first one down and say listen, either we are or we are not but no more middle ground shit. You can't beat yourself up all the time about doing what any other guy would do in the same situation bro...................you gotta go with one way, or the other but when you combine the two things, bad mojo my friend............


You need me to come down and smack her around for ya, you let me know........

~PM

well...first off, i wasn't technically cheating i guess, since we're broken up. but we're broken up with intentions of just taking some time off and getting back together later on. we just got some shit to work on and needed the break.

secondly, and i guess i should have mentioned this earlier, but me and girl number two dated for 9 months before i dated girl number one (my most recent ex). so there definately was an emotional thing going on there. so, i broke up with my girlfriend and hooked up with my ex. shit, she would never talk to me ever again if she found out.

i think i might need you to come down and smack me around a little bit. i'm a fucking retard for getting this involved with this girl.

[Rat]

Madruga, you need to come to Uncle Rats Monastery for Wayward Young Men.

Break off one relationship and get involved with another? Where's Opi?

What you need to do is take some time off from women completely and let your emotions settle down and think this thing thru.... not go out and party hardy !!!

[madruga]

Originally Posted by Rat

Madruga, you need to come to Uncle Rats Monastery for Wayward Young Men.

Break off one relationship and get involved with another? Where's Opi?

What you need to do is take some time off from women completely and let your emotions settle down and think this thing thru.... not go out and party hardy !!!

i know what you're saying is the truth uncle rat, but there is a big difference in doing what you know is right, and doing what you know feels good.

the thing is, the new girl, the girl i just hooked up with, she knows that i still love the other girl. she knows i don't want to get that emotionally involved with her. so it puts me in a bad spot cause i've got this girl that i can do anything with, minus the girlfriend part. but i still love the other girl.

i'm only a man for heaven's sake!!!

[madruga]

and i'd love to come to the monastery for awhile. it'd do me good.

[Rat]

I know its difficult to control those raging hormones at your age.

Its time for you to man up. For yourself. You need to let things cool down. Think things thru, without any distractions.

Decisions made hormonally are always bad decisions. Clear your mind so you can make the right decision for you.

If you need help, I have a small dungeon and some leg irons and a whip that will help clear your distractions for you......

[Spook]

Originally Posted by Rat

Madruga, you need to come to Uncle Rats Monastery for Wayward Young Men.

Break off one relationship and get involved with another? Where's Opi?

What you need to do is take some time off from women completely and let your emotions settle down and think this thing thru.... not go out and party hardy !!!

That entire post sounded....catholic priest-like with monasteries for young men.

However, I did something today that I thought would never happen. My parents are very anti-alcohol, but my mom wanted some cognac for a desert dish so I got her some Remy VSOP. My dad is anti-alcohol but he does feel that one or two beers a day and/or one or two glasses of wine a day is good for the body.