Ipl's Jokes For The Day~!!

[IronpumpedLady]

A kid was sitting on his lawn with a box of puppies one morning. George Bush was on his morning run, accompanied by some Secret Service workers. Dubya asked the boy what kind of puppies were in the box.

The little boy said, "Republicans."

The President beamed, patted the boy on the head, and said, "Thatta boy!"

A few weeks later Bush was jogging again, this time with Dick Cheney in tow. Bush stopped at the boy's house, winked at Dick and said, "Hey kid, what kind of pupies are in the box?"

The boy said, "Democracts"

Bush looked crushed, saying, "What happened? A few weeks ago they were Republicans!"

The boy said, "Well, the puppies opened their eyes."
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A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.

"From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night." The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband?

"ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."

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A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to
visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car
became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by
themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some
oxen before him. He stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and
offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted
and minutes later the car was free.

The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth
car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the
fields incredulously and asks the farmer,"When do you have time to
plough your land? At night?"

"No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the
water in the hole"

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A young blonde comes home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me? That babies come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"

"Yes, dear," replied her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.

"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"


Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

[willy222]

lololol 3RD one is gd