Letter from Osama - Anabolic Steroids

dagar · #1 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 02:04 PM

Although terrorism is not something to laugh at, I saw this on another site and thought it was funny.

THE CAVE (DO NOT DISTRIBUTE OUTSIDE THE ORGANISATION)

Hi guys. We’ve all been putting in long hours recently but weve really come together as a group and I love that. However, while we continue to fight a Jihad in this New Year, we cant forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns.

First. While its good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, a health and safety issue so we need to sweep the cave daily. I’ve done my bit on the cleaning rota have you? I’ve posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area next to the halal toaster.

Second. Its not often I make a video address but when I do, Im trying to scare the s**t out of most of the worlds population, okay? That means that while we are taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the Wassup thing. Thanks.

Third. Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote Ossy on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. Thats all Im saying.

Fourth. Im not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidels bat and ball games. Please do not chant Ossy, Ossy, Ossy, Oy, Oy, Oy when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five. Graffiti. Whoever wrote OSAMA F***S DONKEYS on the group toilet wall. Its a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six. The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam , the old excuse that the chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain will not be accepted in future, with donkeys, there is a grey area.

Finally. Weve heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.

PS I’m sick of having Osama Bed Linen scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, its not funny anymore.