Ipl's Jokes For The Day~!!

[IronpumpedLady]

little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many
blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.

There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question ncomfortably and then finally replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little boy replies, "Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"
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A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork.

"About two hours," says the conductor.

"Okay," says the drunkard, "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?"

The irate conductor says to the drunk "It's still about two hours, laddie. Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?"

"Well," says the drunk, "it's only a week between Christmas and New Year's, but it's a helluva long time between New Year's and Christmas!

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A blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."

The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have that much money, and I must get a message to her, it's urgent! I'll do anything to get a message to her."

The clerk replies "Anything?"

"Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.

He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him and unzip his pants."

She does. "Take it out", says the clerk."

She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead and do it..."

She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"

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This guy was sitting in his attorney's office.

His lawyer said, "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?"

"Give me the bad news first."

"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."

"That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."

"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."




Stay Strong~~!!!
IPL

[Gator_Mclusky]

LMAO.......OUCH on the Half Million!!!!!!! BWahahahahahaha