The story of my struggle.

[FlirtfromHell]

I have always been hesitant to post my whole story - pictures and all on the board. But, I've become pretty close with most of you and figured why not. Plus, it may help some of the other ladies who struggle with weight. So now, I will fully expose myself on iS.

Okay, so I will start by first telling those of you who don't know... I was in a really bad car accident at the end of September and I have been laid up due to my injuries ever since. I saw the doc again yesterday and I know I'm looking at a minimum of 6 more weeks like this. I am tired of sitting around all day, I can't wait to be healed and able to work out again.

Now, without further ado, here's my story… (be nice please)

I was born 10lbs 7oz. nearly killed my mother during labor. As a child I did nothing but gain weight and I have been overweight since the day I was born.

I had no control over my food intake as a child and I can assure you my diet was a healthy one. I have an older sister who always ate more than I did and never gained a pound. The doctor's had all tested me for diabetes, thyroid problems or anything else they could think of that may have caused me to gain weight at such a young age. My mother was very in control of the food I ate and I was very seldom allowed to eat snacks, cookies, and desserts.

At around age 8 or 9, my mother heard of a nutrition and wellness program for overweight kids. So she and I signed up - attending classes 3 nights a week. This class taught us more about healthy eating and exercises that would fair well for children my age. Now, I will tell you, I grew up on 80 acres of woods, I was always outside running around, playing kickball, softball, riding my bike, or climbing the trails in the woods and even in the winter, we made snowmen, rode snowmobiles and went sleigh-riding. Never was there a time I just sat on my butt as a child. We stayed members of this class for nearly 3 years and I saw no weight loss, actually I continued to gain weight.

I was teased all the time at school and remember coming home in tears everyday. I was the tallest and heaviest kid in school and people can be cruel. I will never forget the school nurse telling my mother one day when I was about 12 or 13 that she should really get a handle on my diet. I thought my mother was going to knock that lady out.

So anyways, as I have grown up along side my sister we have both been teased, her being the toothpick and I being the fat ass. In our mid to late teens she stood 5'11" and weight 108-110, I was 6' and at my heaviest I weighed 438. Yes, you read that correctly I was pushing my way to 500 pounds. Even at that weight I functioned very well and was overall healthy, I would walk 3-4 times a week and could out-walk my skinny friends. I participated in walks for charities like MS & Breast Cancer Awareness. The looks I always receive from people amazed me. Astonished that this fat ass is going to walk, I took great joy in finishing before most of those out-of-shape fools. The doctor's were also usually shocked that my blood pressure and cholesterol, etc. were perfectly normal despite my size.

Okay, so I am rambling a bit now, back to the subject. As I have explained, I never ate a terrible diet and I never sat still for very long but I still managed to gain gain gain. In my adult life, I have been on every fad diet you could probably dream of and only once did I see results. I eliminated carbs from my diet completely. If I consumed 3-5g a day that was high for me, and those grams usually came from salad dressing or were the minimal amounts from Altoids, Tic-Tacs and other foods that claimed <1g per serving. I remained on that diet for approximately 9 months with my overall weight loss about 85 pounds. I felt great, still overweight, but for the first time in my life I had lost weight. I had to give up the diet though because the doctor's didn't think it was healthy for me.

I am sure you can all guess what happened when I started eating carbs again, right?! Even though I ate them still in great moderation, I gained back almost 50 pounds of what I had lost. Oh, I forget to mention, the entire time I was on the diet and the first year or so off the diet I walked between 4-6 miles daily. So, even walking and maintaining a high-protein low-carb diet I still gained the weight back. Discouraging to say the very least.

I began to just believe I was meant to be fat. I started to give-up thinking that I could ever be what society called 'normal'. Then, I heard about gastric-bypass surgery. In 2002, I began my research; I followed patients’ stories for over a year before I made my decision. I wanted the surgery; I wanted to see if this, being the largest weight-loss tool available, could help me. In 2004, at age 24 I underwent surgery. I had the full roux-en-y procedure and immediately saw results. I have heard from many people that this is cheating or just a cop-out. It is not, it's only a tool used to aid in the process. I know this because I still struggle. On the morning of my surgery, I weighed 438 lbs. and within the first year I had lost nearly 200 lbs. Since that first year it's been a battle worse than ever before. Now, I have reactions with different foods and lack of absorption with essential vitamins and minerals. My health and nutrition have become larger than life in my world.

Until last May when I moved, I was a member at a gym, I worked out 4-5 days a week and walked daily still. Yet, I started to put weight back on. It doesn't seem to matter in my life how much I exercise or what I eat I can still gain weight and fight tooth & nail to lose it.

I became a member of this board because of a friend, I joined in his defense... many remember. Anyways, I stayed because I hoped that people as educated as yourselves about the human body, nutrition and fitness are the ones who can (or should) understand my struggle more than any others and are the most positive encouraging people around. You guys know it's not easy to see results and they don't show overnight.

Okay, I will share some pics, and then I am done...

My sister and I as kids, remember she's 2 years older than me...



Here is me before in 2001..............and, me after in 2006



I have had weight gains since that after pic, but I am still working hard everyday and I know someday I will reach my goals!

Here is the most recent I have of myself...



Okay. That was my 2 cents. Thanks for taking the time to read it!

I am glad to be here, I've made many wonderful friends – all whom have been very kind and positive thus far. I look forward to sharing the rest of my story with you all as it writes itself in the future months.

[paul_22]

touching youve done really well and ya look real good now !!!

[FlirtfromHell]

Thanks luaP.

[access]

Shit...amazing girl.

I had no true idea of your struggles and am glad you took the time to express them. The human body is simply quite extraordinary and in your case seems to have worked against you from birth to store fat. I am surprised that someone at some point has not been able to diagnose a specific issue that causes this but then again your story is not singular to yourself as we see it from time to time with others also.

I wish you all the best with your future and genuinely hope your able to find whatever it may be to assist you with reaching your goals. Clearly you have a lifetime of effort behind you and utilise that to make you even more determined going forward.

[Pianoman]

Thank you for sharing a part of your life! You are a very strong individual. You have done a wonderful job! It seems that you have lots of will power, continue to fight the good fight! You have already made leaps and bounds!. Everyone's body works a little differently. Never ever give up!!! Hard work always pays off!!

[bodger1976]

thanks for sharing that with us, your candidness is commendable, i hope you draw strength from these replies and reach your goals

[Gator_Mclusky]

You and I have talked about your struggles. Tough to deal with I bet. Im glad you had your surgery but as you said there are issues with some absorbtion and other things your doctor has told you of iIm sure. Just follow the doctors orders and you will be fine hun.
Hang in there doll. You are very beautiful. You've come a long way and its been tough but you can overcome anything!

gator

[FlirtfromHell]

Originally Posted by access

Shit...amazing girl.

I had no true idea of your struggles and am glad you took the time to express them. The human body is simply quite extraordinary and in your case seems to have worked against you from birth to store fat. I am surprised that someone at some point has not been able to diagnose a specific issue that causes this but then again your story is not singular to yourself as we see it from time to time with others also.

I wish you all the best with your future and genuinely hope your able to find whatever it may be to assist you with reaching your goals. Clearly you have a lifetime of effort behind you and utilise that to make you even more determined going forward.

Thanks Access. I have gained so much already to help me work towards my goals, as soon as the doc's tell me it's a go it's on.

Originally Posted by Pianoman

Thank you for sharing a part of your life! You are a very strong individual. You have done a wonderful job! It seems that you have lots of will power, continue to fight the good fight! You have already made leaps and bounds!. Everyone's body works a little differently. Never ever give up!!! Hard work always pays off!!

Thanks Pianoman. It's certainly been a tough journey and I guess I am living proof that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

Originally Posted by bodger1976

thanks for sharing that with us, your candidness is commendable, i hope you draw strength from these replies and reach your goals

Bodger, thank you. I do draw strength from the positive responses. It's awesome to have such a large network of positive encouraging and knowledgeable people available anytime and I know it's going to help a lot once I get moving again.

Originally Posted by Gator_Mclusky

You and I have talked about your struggles. Tough to deal with I bet. Im glad you had your surgery but as you said there are issues with some absorbtion and other things your doctor has told you of iIm sure. Just follow the doctors orders and you will be fine hun.
Hang in there doll. You are very beautiful. You've come a long way and its been tough but you can overcome anything!

gator

Gator, yes, we have talked about it before. Thank you again for your positive words. I've worked very hard to ensure there are no side-effects from the surgery and have been lucky so far.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this & leave some positive words!!

[CHIQUITITA]

Heide, I never knew your full story and thank-you for sharing... That took alot of guts to spill your beans the way you did but in doing so Im sure your experiences you've had can help educate others who struggle in the same battle as you have with wieght. I know you've suffered some setbacks with your car accident but once your able to get back on your feet I hope you continue to use that surgery as the tool it was meant to be and continue to keep yourself motivated and moving to finally fullfill your fitness goals.

Always remember that this is a lifelong commitment to yourself in getting healthy not only physically but mentally and spiritually.... keep yourself surrounded with positive people who only encourage your success and not those who sabatoge your efforts (intentionally or not).

I wish you nothing but encouragement and success.... Keep it movin Chica!

[FlirtfromHell]

Thanks girl.

You know once I start movin' for real again I'll be in your ear with all sorts of questions!!